How to Live Your Dreams: Part I

I moved onto the boat for three main reasons, recapped here:

1. Test my values - Can I live minimally? Can I relinquish my attachment to things?
2. Save Money
3. If 1 and 2 work out, start vagabonding

Vagabonding is my grail. It's what I have always wanted to do - to become a perpetual traveler with no fixed abode. Living in different places for long enough to know them, to learn the language and the people. And then to keep going.

Living our dreams is what we hope to do. So why do many of us get off track? Why is living the best way for us, in our one finite life, such a hard thing to do?

In this multi-part series (I haven't decided how many parts there will be yet - it's a work in progress), I will take you through how to live your dreams.

Part I: Know what your dreams are

"Wait a minute. Of course I know what my dreams are. This is supposed to be helpful how?"

Well... do you?

If you list out your dreams right now, what would they be? Think about it for a minute or two. I'm not going anywhere.

If you are anything like I was, your list might include things like these:

• To have a high paying, interesting job
• To live in a nice house that I own
• To go on holiday to interesting places
• To be respected by my peers and surrounded by interesting people
• To be viewed as an equal by my ex

So? Reasonable dreams? Achievable? Aren't these quite normal aspirations?

Perhaps. But there are issues with these, and one specific problem with all of them:

These are not me. These dreams are not my truth.

These dreams were dreamed with other people in mind. These dreams were driven by what they would say to others about me. These dreams had their outer limits set by others. In the case of being respected or seen as an equal, they were wholly dependent on others. 

To know what your dreams are, there is only one person to ask. Only one person whose opinion matters, only one person to set limits. That person is you.

To get to the real essence of your dreams, do the following:

1. Dream like a child. Guaranteed, when you were a kid, you had dreams. Boy they were big. Do you remember them (I bet you do)? Think about what you wanted to do when you were small, or think about what you'd like to do if you had zero responsibilities and endless time in front of you. Think about what you would do if you had a million dollars.
2. Set limits. Thing is, you're not a child. You (probably) don't have a million dollars. You have responsibilities and people you love. This is where you set your limits. The trick is that you need to do make sure these limits come from you, not from an external source. Stop saying, "This dream is impossible, I'm a partner/parent/carer. I'm old/poor/not sure where to start." Start asking, "How can I become a partner/parent/carer that does this? How can I do this starting from where I am now?"
3. Check your dreams and your limits against your ultimate aims. This is the litmus test. Ask yourself, "Will living this dream help me to achieve my ultimate aims in life?" Ask yourself, "This limit I've set, is it there to keep me on track to my aims?" If the answer to either is no, then you need to ask yourself why you have the dream or have set the limit. Answer honestly. 

Once you know what your dreams are, you're one step closer to living them. Don't rush and take the time to really think. Ask yourself a lot of questions. This is the only real way to know if you are following your bliss.